8 April 2009 | 9:47 PM
It’s no secret that I’ve never been much of a fitness enthusiast, but I think I’ve finally found a workout that seems to be tailored for sophisticated, upwardly-mobile males like me:
I wonder if I should wait to start participating until my hair is long enough to part down the middle and feather?
[VIa Everying Is Terrible]
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12 March 2009 | 3:08 PM
If you’ve ever thought of getting in between a turtle and the object of his affection, don’t:
From this point forward, I hereby resolve to only walk barefoot.
[Via BoingBoing]
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25 February 2009 | 2:43 PM
A glass-half-empty person looks at Wednesday and says “Crap, there’s still half a week left.” A glass-half-full person looks at Wednesday and says, “Woowoo, the week’s half-over!” Me, I look at Wednesday and say “Shit, I’m late on seven deadlines.” Oh well, to each their own I guess. Here’s some links for you to click while I work on getting slightly less behind:
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10 February 2009 | 10:19 PM
If there’s one lesson that I think we all can take away from seeing this, umm, whatever-it-is…
…it’s that there may indeed be such a thing as too much personal freedom.
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9 February 2009 | 10:58 PM
Whoever is responsible for this abomination has managed to do something that I have always thought was impossible, namely making me briefly sickened by the thoughts of both bacon and – more importantly – breasts.
Nice going, asswipe.
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6 February 2009 | 10:28 PM
Oh. Mah. Gah.
Is it too late for this thing to sneak in for Oscar consideration?
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28 January 2009 | 12:07 AM
When the hell did this happen? I turn my back for a week or two, and suddenly Lindsay Lohan is wasting away while Jessica Simpson is, well, a little more Rubenesque than usual. Now, I’m not saying that America’s (former) sweetheart has been secretly eating LiLo (after all if so, Samantha Ronson’s gonna be pissed – heyo!), but something fishy is going on here, and if I cared I would totally get to the bottom of it.
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23 January 2009 | 1:13 AM
Admittedly, it’s been a while since I was out there in the job market, but I remember the sting and humiliation of dink-letters very well, thankyouverymuch. That said, I am pleased to say that, though I’ve been turned down for more jobs than I can count, I’m pretty sure I never received a resume response quite like this one:
I believe the phrase you’re looking for is, “holy fucking shit!”
[Via sim sandwich's Flickr photostream]
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19 January 2009 | 11:05 PM
Fresh off the heels of last month’s story about the guy who beat up his lady-friend with a cheeseburger comes this heartwarming tale of a boy, his mother and the cornthenticity that threatened to rip their relationship asunder. It seems one Zachary Moir of Deltona, Florida was so incensed that mommy dearest had summarily yanked the power on his Xbox mid-game that he marched downstairs and gave her a face-full of taco. The best part of this story has to be the kid’s stone-cold douchebag booking photo, an image that makes even the most forgiving of hearts secretly smirk at the idea of this weasel spending a few days in the Volusia County lockup.
Leaving aside the fact that dude is nineteen and yet still lives with (and apparently is fed by) his mom, I can’t help but wonder what today’s youth are thinking. I mean, had I so much as accidentally flicked an errant sprig of shredded cheese in my mom’s general direction as a teen, I would’ve caught a beating so savage it would make extraordinary rendition look like an episode of Captain Kangaroo, and the cops would have had to first collect all the pieces of my face before taking that mug shot.
And more importantly, what the hell do today’s domestic abusers have against hand-food?
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15 January 2009 | 2:02 PM
Ricardo Montalban died yesterday, and while I’m surely the millionth person on the web to post a brief snippet about it with an image of him from Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan, I will say in my defense that this is mostly because I wasn’t able to get a good screen-cap from his 1975 Chrysler Cordoba ad:
R.I.P., Mr. Rourke.
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