Please Don't Be That Guy » Ummm…?

International House Of Peyote

Andy — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 17:47:01 +0000

Although experience tells me that only the truly fucked up willingly go to the International House of Pancakes (as an adult, I’ve been inside an IHOP exactly thrice, each visit more drunk than the previous one), I guess I’ve never given much thought to how messed up the establishment might itself might be all on its own. That is, until I stumbled across this brain-bending commercial from the 60’s, which plays out like an acid trip about a Waffle House for hippies:

Holy balls! That shit is Rooty-Tooty-Fresh-N’-Frightening.

[Via BB]

Get Thee Behind Me, Blonde Earworm!

Andy — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:49:39 +0000

For various reasons I’d rather not go into at the moment, I’ve had Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” stuck in my head for the better part of a week. I love (love, love, love?) pop music, especially hook-laden pop music, but there’s something about the particular vocal hook in this song that makes me feel like I’m subjecting myself to trepanation from the inside out. So this right here is my attempt at expelling this faux-Eurotrash earworm from my cranium forever:

Who knows if it’ll work. I’m half-afraid that once it gets out, some shit by Danity Kane or Taylor Swift will rush in to fill the vacuum.

Me And You And Satan, Too

Andy — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:47:00 +0000

Valentines Day gift-giving can be a tricky terrain to navigate. Some girls like candy. Some girls like flowers. Some girls like inviting the paparazzi on their intimate dates. And some girls? Well, let’s just say that these teenaged fellows know how to lay on a little of the ol’ death metal charm for the special ladies in their lives.

Awww.

I’m Feeling Lucky?

Andy — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 04:34:52 +0000

Aside from Letterman’s jaw-dropper, the only commercial that really caught my eye during this year’s Super Bowl Registered Trademark Bowl was Google’s “Parisian Love” advert. However, while it was refreshing to see an ad built around subtlety, nuance and romance rather than talking babies or sub-par “lite” beer, I can’t help thinking that perhaps The Goog wasn’t really offering very much truth-in-advertising in their spot. Thankfully for us, the Upright Citizens Brigade was able to quickly churn out this much more realistic version of the ad:

Truth be told, maybe this revised ad should really be part of a campaign promoting Bing? After all, doesn’t this thing practically scream “decision engine“?

(Thanks, Giz)

So That’s How It Works?

Andy — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 20:44:27 +0000

I’m thankful that nobody recorded my childhood ramblings about where babies come from. After all, it’s not like anyone needs to hear my silly version of the process, which somehow simultaneously involved storks, belly buttons, Spanish fly and high heels. That said, I find this short film to be pretty charming:

Although, if you think about it, in a way these concoctions sometimes seem far more plausible than the real explanation.

Some Things You Can’t Unsee: The Forbidden Dance

Andy — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:35:28 +0000

It sure seems like more and more people are turning to stripping these days to make ends meet.

Eh, whatever – those tits are totally fake.

Gnip-Gnop, I Got Shit To Pop

Andy — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:31:32 +0000

The Glue Society’s music video for Metal on Metal’s “BASTARD” is amazing and dark. Really dark.

Remind me to stick to badminton.

The Right To Shoot Yourself In Your Sleep

Andy — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 04:10:16 +0000

Wow. Just….wow. While I’m a sissified gun-o-phobe without a terribly sophisticated understanding of American gun culture, I am down with the 2nd Amendment. If others want to bear themselves some arms, that seems fine to me (although I fall in the camp of those who feel like some reasonable limits could be set on that on them – but that’s a whole ‘nother Oprah show). However, I have to think that most gun owners would agree with me that this concept falls into the “dangerously stupid” category:

Or maybe not? I just know that if I’m sharing a bed with someone who’s stashing a sawed-off shotgun under her side of the comforter, I’m guessing that will curb any of those midnight trips to see a man about a horse: after all, what’s a kidney infection if it means avoiding taking a load of buckshot to the groin?

[Via BoingBoing]

Living In A World Of Fools

Andy — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 05:19:35 +0000

Some folks might say that some things are just not meant to intermingle: red wine and squab; Fox News and journalism; Pauly Shore and this world. While I wholeheartedly agree with those examples, perhaps we shouldn’t be too hasty and pre-judge these things. After all, such nay-saying notions would’ve prevented us from ever discovering such winning pairings as chocolate and peanut butter, Aerosmith and Run DMC, or even cocaine and hookers’ asses. Imagine, for instance, if I said to you, what would you think of a death metal version of the Bee Gees’ saccharine classic “How Deep Is Your Love”:

Um, all right, I was wrong: go ahead and pre-judge all the hell you want. I give up.

9021-Blows

Andy — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 04:55:57 +0000

My first thought upon seeing this opening title sequence for a newly-updated pornographic version of Beverly Hills 90210, is that the brain-trust behind Hustler appears to be slipping:

I mean, what the hell? No hot three-way with Valerie, Claire and Carly? No gratuitous shower scene with Brandon, Dylan and Nat from the Peach Pit? No Brian Austin Green character to simultaneously give syphilis, herpes and crabs to? I mean, they didn’t even bother to work “69″ into the title!

I mean, come on, Larry Flynt: it’s like you’re not even trying anymore.