Copenhagen, Here I Come!

6 December 2009 | 11:58 PM

While I’ve always been in favor of promoting positive steps to counteract global warming, I’ve never really thought about getting directly involved. Until now. Yes, folks, I’m looking for a sugar-momma (or daddy – I’m not here to judge) to send me over to Denmark this week so that I can participate in the COP15 United Nations Climate Change Conference. Why, pray tell, do I want to attend, you ask? Is it to advocate for US adoption of the Kyoto treaty? To argue for stiffer penalties for governments who continue to dump tons of harmful emissions into the air? To meet hot hippie chicks in a cramped hostel? Um, no, none of the above.

No, the reason I need to get to Copenhagen this week is that Danish prostitutes are giving it up for free to anyone with a conference identity card. Yup, the ladies of the night of Hans Christian Andersen’s ancestral homeland are protesting a city campaign aimed at curbing the utilization of sex workers during the conference, and who am I to stand between streetwalkers who talk like the Swedish Chef and their dream?

So, if anyone could score me a plane ticket and an ID card, I’d really, really appreciate the opportunity to combat the greenhouse effect in my pants. (See what I did there?)

[Via Arbroath]

Posted by Andy in The Beast With Two Backs