Respectfully Declined

30 November 2009 | 1:41 PM

As a consultant, I am always being approached by friends and acquaintances who are looking for me to do them a solid, often with promises of big payouts or even an ownership stake if/when things materialize. I’m generally inclined to say yes to most of these requests, either because I genuinely like helping people or, in some cases, the person asking for the favor is unattainably hot. However, there are some of these “opportunities” which I can’t say “no” to fast enough. Usually these are pitched to me as requiring little (if any) effort and accompanied by outrageous claims of wealth potential. The truth is, as soon as someone tells me something won’t take much of my time to do, it’s a signal to me that they either have no idea how I do what I do or, worse, think think they do, and thus will be all up in my shit while I’m trying to help them out.

Look, I understand that in order to make some serious scratch these days, you need to be able to a little giving with your taking, so I’m not suggesting that people shouldn’t be asking for favors – who knows if today’s pro-bono website might not be tomorrow’s Fail Blog, right? But having a good bullshit detector is key. Now, any fool with an internet connection knows that nobody’s bullshit detector is greater than the one that David Thorne – he of the hilariously infamous seven-legged spider – sports. Come to think of it, his bullshit-slinger is pretty top-notch, too. Just give a look at how he deftly rejects an overture for unpaid work.

*sigh* I hope I am not too old to engage in hero worship, because this guy is dreamy!

Posted by Andy in Nerdapalooza