14 February 2009 | 11:57 PM
As I believe the horrid, gravelly-voiced Canuck Bryan Adams once said, “It cuts like a knife/Oooh, but it feels so right”:
Happy Saint Valentine’s Day.
[Via Snotr]
Posted by Andy in Wincing The Night Away | Comments (0)
13 February 2009 | 1:41 PM
For various reasons, I’ve spent most of my day sequestered indoors with poor lighting. That might explain why I look like Greystoke and have a the attention span of a fruit fly. In any case, I’m going to try to toss out some links before my ability to string complete sentences leaves me entirely.
Posted by Andy in Linksploitation | Comments (1)
13 February 2009 | 1:05 PM
Last week, video of actress Salma Hayek breast-feeding a stranger’s hungry child in a Sierra Leone hospital emerged on the series of tubes, and mainstream media has been taking the story and running with it ever since:
Despite the fact that I objectify Ms. Hayek in pretty much every way possible, even a pervert like myself has to commend her for the matter-of-fact grace, sense of community and respect her actions belie. Even so, I couldn’t help but chuckle when I heard ABC’s morning show people introducing the story yesterday morning. The hosts found it truly incredulous that so many people – thousands, even millions – had watched the clip online. I realize this is my inner cynic speaking, but hello, we’re talking about video of Salma Hayek whipping her breast out, here: I’d frankly be shocked if the video didn’t grab as many eyeballs as that karate back-flip gone wrong and Chris Crocker’s defense of Britney Spears combined. Granted, this clip may have garnered a fair amount of “crossover” viewers, people interested in the poignant and beautiful story, but something tells me there are vast legions of people who regularly Google the phrase “Salma Hayek breast” and click everything that comes up in the results, irrespective of current events.
I’m not saying, but I’m just saying.
Posted by Andy in Food For Thought | Comments (1)
12 February 2009 | 8:02 AM
Sometimes I worry that I utilize tools like Twitter a bit too much. Then I see something like this and my fears abate:
I mean, I might tweet as much as this chick, but at least I don’t follow Scoble. Ugh.
Posted by Andy in Nerdapalooza | Comments (0)
10 February 2009 | 10:19 PM
If there’s one lesson that I think we all can take away from seeing this, umm, whatever-it-is…
…it’s that there may indeed be such a thing as too much personal freedom.
Posted by Andy in Ummm...? | Comments (0)
9 February 2009 | 11:57 PM
For tonight’s edition of Ye Olde Creative Void Theater, I thought I’d whip up some lists. Normally, this is an activity I perform elsewhere, but I think it’s creative in its own way, and can and will do for tonight. On your mark….get.set…..bullet!
Favorite Band Names Of All Time
- The Gaza Strippers
- Anus The Menace
- 2 Live Jews
- Jesus Chrysler Supercar
- Debbie Harry’s Armpit Crew
- Eve’s Plum
- Vegetarian Meat
- Lesbian Dopeheads on Mopeds
- …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
- Ronnie James Deodorant
- Bonus: Best fictitious band name? Everyone Gets Laid” from PCU
Favorite John Hughes-ian Movies From The ’80s
- Better Off Dead
- Weird Science
- Fast Times At Ridgemont High*
- Real Genius
- Say Anything
- The Breakfast Club
- Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
- Just One Of The Guys
- My Tutor
- Risky Business
Yes, I know it’s kind of a stretch lumping this in with those films since it’s technically a teen sex comedy, but just roll with it.
Words, Place Names Or Proper Names Which Make Me Giggle
- pasty
- sesquipedalian
- Lake Titicaca
- shuttlecock
- onomatopoeia
- coccyx
- Balzac
- defenestrate
- moist
- pantaloon
All right, I’ve done enough damage to the English language for one night. Adieu!
Posted by Andy in Play For Today | Comments (0)
9 February 2009 | 11:10 PM
I have to think that if the stoned post-dental kid from last week had been raised by Sean Connery and Liberace, he’d turn out something like this wee lad:
What’s sad is I think I wore the same suit to my Bar Mitzvah. Even sadder is that his Hebrew is clearly better than mine.
Posted by Andy in Awesome (To Me, Anyway) | Comments (0)
9 February 2009 | 10:58 PM
Whoever is responsible for this abomination has managed to do something that I have always thought was impossible, namely making me briefly sickened by the thoughts of both bacon and – more importantly – breasts.
Nice going, asswipe.
Posted by Andy in Ummm...? | Comments (0)
9 February 2009 | 9:58 AM
It turns out that T.S. Eliot was mistaken: the world will end not with a bang nor a whimper, but rather with an aging former geek icon attempting to dance on American television.
Pray for us.
Posted by Andy in Nerdapalooza | Comments (0)
6 February 2009 | 11:38 PM
For some reason – perhaps because it doesn’t involve a ton of effort on my part – I keep coming back to the concept of the lyrical mashup. I don’t know how well they translate to other people but I find them kind of strangely satisfying. For tonight’s opus, I’ve elected to take a playlist I’ve created of songs with the most ridonkulously oddball lyrics, pull out the weirdest phrase from each and then string them together for your gawking pleasure. Let’s give it a go, shall we?
Damn them sonsabitches with their gill-nets set afloat
In the lap of your mama you land
Amassed resentment counting ounce and pound
Hope is a letter that’s never delivered by the postman of my fear
Tarzan I’m pleading stop your fucking screaming
Don’t tell me that you didn’t try and check out my bum
Suck, suck your teenage thumb
Or leave it senseless like a suck on a gun?
I said ‘oh’ in my hopeless youth, just so uncouth
I try to sing it funny like Beck but it’s bringing me down
I Brazilian wax poetic so hypothetically I don’t wanna beat around the bush
So why is it I’m happy when there’s tears down in your eye
Heh, well if nothing else, at least I entertain myself. G’night.
Posted by Andy in Play For Today | Comments (0)