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Archives: February 2009

Escargo-go-go!

27 February 2009 | 10:50 PM

If snails really moved this fast….

…would we still be able to catch them and saute them in a pan with butter?

Posted by Andy in Food For Thought | Comments (1)

Morgan & Maher
Slowly but surely I’m getting back into the swing of things around here. And while that doesn’t mean that I can boast that I’m now attending to my allegedly daily creative ritual, well, daily, it does mean that I’m at least thinking about doing it daily: didn’t Gandhi say something about being the change you wish to see or something? Yeah, I’m doing that. Ahem. Anyway, for this edition, I thought I’d flex some of my old film criticism skills again, if for no other reason than I feel a small sense of obligation to periodically demonstrate to my parents that my college experience brought me something other than canonical knowledge of all things Animaniacs. Enjoy:

Click here to read the rest of this entry »

Posted by Andy in Play For Today | Comments (1)

Linksploitation: (C)hump-Day Edition

25 February 2009 | 2:43 PM

A glass-half-empty person looks at Wednesday and says “Crap, there’s still half a week left.” A glass-half-full person looks at Wednesday and says, “Woowoo, the week’s half-over!” Me, I look at Wednesday and say “Shit, I’m late on seven deadlines.” Oh well, to each their own I guess. Here’s some links for you to click while I work on getting slightly less behind:

I’m still trying to decide which Star Wars line is most-improved by replacing a word with “pants”, but I’m leaning toward “I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your pants!”.
Have WiFi at home? Are you keeping logs of its use? Well, if not you might be breaking the law, if the crazy GOP gets its way.
Somehow this dance contest seems far more up Steve Wozniak’ s alley.
Attention women of Louisville, KY: the queue starts to the left, ladies. Enjoy.
Cripes, is it ever easy to blow an hour looking at oddities found by the Google Maps survey crew!
The “Sex Scene or Murder Scene” game is a bit of a slippery slope: if you win you’re a demented pervert, but if you lose you’re pretty much admitting to having the IQ of wallet lint.
Hey wait, I thought Matt Drudge already had the market cornered on this idea. Zing!
Dude, I honor the place where your sleep apnea and your geekdom become one.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggh!

Posted by Andy in Ummm...? | Comments (0)

Not Quite Halfway There

25 February 2009 | 1:50 PM

In today’s media-obsessed culture, sometimes we lose focus of how hilarious and immediate the medium can be. One of the purest forms of this immediacy can be seen during game breaks at sporting events all over the land, when average Joes and Janes get their brief fifteen minutes seconds of fame by mugging for the Jumbotron camera. In that spirit, I give you the imaginative interpretive dance of one enterprising Boston Celtics fan:

While it very well might be staged (for another view of the dance, click here), it’s clear that very few of his fellow spectators were in on it. To me, this is the stuff of legend.

Beat LA!

Posted by Andy in Awesome (To Me, Anyway) | Comments (0)

Emergent Humor

25 February 2009 | 1:32 PM

I’ve never really been a fan of the television show E.R.. In fact, I think I’ve only ever watched one complete episode, and that was really only because Quentin Tarantino directed it. Moreover, I wasn’t even aware that the thing was still on – I thought it had long ago gone the way of Airwolf, Jennifer Slept Here and Enos. My point is that for all I know, this could be an actual promo for an upcoming E.R. episode:

Seems about right to me. Hrm, maybe Too Close For Comfort is still on, too? Man, that Jim J. Bullock sure got himself into some sticky situations.

Posted by Andy in Comedy = Tragedy + Time | Comments (0)

Cake For Today: Wait, I’ve Brought Dessert!

24 February 2009 | 9:46 PM

Wow. It’s been, like, a thousand years (read, a week) since I’ve last posted anything here and even longer since I belched out anything remotely creative. In my defense, I should tell you that I’m notoriously lazy. Be that as it may, today has thankfully provided me with a golden opportunity to create, or at the very least get back in the saddle and live up to the letter (if not the spirit) of my New Year’s resolution. My darling daughter turned four years of age today, and as part of the festivities I decided to make this cake in her honor.

All right, you say, big fucking deal – so you can follow a recipe. But take heart, friend: I managed to flip the script a bit and change it up. See, the original recipe as it were was very health-conscious, which is admirable to be sure but left me a little afraid of just how bad the thing might taste, given that it eschewed conventional ingredients such as flour, baking soda and eggs for store-bought cake mix and a liter of Diet Sprite. In any event, I elected to apply the recipe’s cool rainbowing effect to a traditional, from-scratch white cake.

1.5 sticks softened, unsalted butter

2t baking powder

2C flour (all-purpose)

1.5C sugar

6 egg whites

3t vanilla

3/4C 2% milk

Pinch of salt

Combine the dry and wet ingredients separately. Then slowly add the wets to the drys, mixing the whole way. Divide the resulting batter into six evenly-sized portions, plunking some serious food coloring of your choice in each one. The brighter the better. Mix each color thoroughly. Grease and line two 8″ cake pans. Take three of the colors and put them into the first pan, one after the other, forming concentric circles. Repeat with the other three colors in the remaining pan. Bake both for 35 minutes at 350 degrees, or until they both pass a toothpick test. Once cooled a bit, pop both cakes out of their pans and let them cool entirely down to room temperature. Trim and frost as desired.

I should mention, I did follow the original recipe’s directions for the frosting and am pleased to say it actually turned out quite well – it oddly enough tastes a bit like buttercream, but without any of the nutritive holocaust that buttercream usually brings with it.

Anyhoo, since I’ve been out of the habit of being creative for a good couple of weeks now, I’m prepared to credit myself with a successful opus. Bon Appetit!

Posted by Andy in Play For Today | Comments (0)

Papa Don’t Preach

18 February 2009 | 3:13 PM

I’ve often wondered what it’s going to be like when I finally have to have “the sex talk” with my kids. As it turns out, I’ve got nothing to worry about – someone’s already provided me with an exceptional template for the discussion:

Life lesson? Whatever you do, don’t forget about “tool”.

Posted by Andy in Comedy = Tragedy + Time | Comments (2)

Didn’t See That Coming

18 February 2009 | 2:54 PM

Bristol Palin – the eldest, baby-making daughter of once and future winker-in-chief Sarah Palin – might want to watch it. After all, now that she’s gone off half-cocked about abstinence-only education and reproductive rights, she’s probably a marked woman around the family compound.