2008 December | Please Don’t Be That Guy

Zune Fail

31 December 2008 | 10:18 AM

Ha ha ha. You suck, Microsoft! Although, I appreciate you giving me another excuse to link to this.

That is all.

[Via /.]

People often give me grief because I spent most of the late evenings during my formative college years watching episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation. To those people, I say watch this clip. Then I say, “You’re goddamn right I did”:

How that series failed to win a Nobel prize, I’ll never understand….

Posted by Andy in Awesome (To Me, Anyway) | Comments (2)

Linksploitation: Auld-Lang-Syne Edition

29 December 2008 | 1:03 PM

Most people who run link-dumps would take an opportunity like this to post the year’s best silly memes and web chicanery. I, however, am not “most people”. Plus, I’m too lazy to go through the archives. Ipso facto, here are some new links for you to sink your clicky fingers into:

Admit it: you’re kind of jealous of RuPaul’s holiday card, aren’t you?
Did you have a family member or friend who pouted a bit about what was under their tree/menorah this year? Trust me, unless you’re related to this fellow, you don’t know pouting.
If there is any karma in the universe, when terrorists get to the afterlife, their 72 virgins are all secretly slutty women who’ve made use of these things.
What kind of excuse could possibly explain why a bakery would refuse to decorate a cake for a poor, innocent 3 year-old boy? Oh, right.
Awwwwwwwww!
I kind of think this organization rocks, if only because of their logo.
Most necessary. Blog. Ever. Oh, and (here’s a close second!)
Ne’er-do-wells, you might want to reconsider opening that Facebook account.
I’ve recently bought an iPhone, in part because I am eager to do application development for the devices. That said, I’m more than a little nonplussed to hear that Apple won’t allow the most awesome iPhone app ever to be distributed via its AppStore. Boobs.

Posted by Andy in Linksploitation | Comments (0)

A Stance Too Wide

29 December 2008 | 12:27 PM

To many, 2008 will be memorable as the year that we finally elected a person of color to be president, or that Britney Spears kinda sorta got hot again. As for me, what I’ll remember most about this past year is a chilling, to-word phrase: “wide stance“. As you can see, Senator Larry Craig’s attempt at breaking off a little somethin’-somthin’ in the Minneapolis airport exposed us all to a world we weren’t aware existed:

Wow! Who knew that Sarah McLachlan still had so much juice?

Posted by Andy in Ummm...? | Comments (0)

Gifted

25 December 2008 | 12:07 AM

I won’t go so far as to say this project hits close to home…

…but it doesn’t not hit close to home, if you know what I mean?

I’m not saying, but I’m just saying.

Merry Christmahannukwanzakah, everyone.

Posted by Andy in Nerdapalooza | Comments (0)

Prose Before Ho’s

24 December 2008 | 11:57 PM

It’s a good thing that Santa has been around for so long, because if dude had to put his operation together today (and, more to the point, had to rely on one of today’s soul-sucking advertising companies to get his message out there), he’d be getting his ass handed to him by the likes of Vince the Shamwow! guy. Props to Dailey Associates for being self-effacing enough to share this vision of how it would go if they brought the jolly ol’ fat man in for a quick voice-over session:

Those marketing wankers should be glad that they were dealing with the Anglo-American version of Santa rather than the Dutch incarnation, who rolls with a posse of six-to-eight black men and wouldn’t stand for that “I kinda want to hear more smile” bullshit, no way, no how.

Posted by Andy in Comedy = Tragedy + Time | Comments (0)

Mr. Claus Goes To Washington

24 December 2008 | 11:35 PM

With the economy firmly ensconced in the crapper these days, it appears that everyone is taking a hit. And by everyone, I mean everyone. Heck, even a certain harried, white-bearded dude in a red suit recently wedged his tush down Congress’ chimney to see if he could cash in on the gravy train the government has going for the U.S. auto industry. Let’s go to the sub-committee hearing, shall we?

So, as you’re heading to bed this Christmas Eve, ponder for a moment just how naughty or nice you’ve been. After all, I think we’ve all learned something important here. And that something is that elf dung stains are practically impossible to get out of your carpet.

Posted by Andy in Comedy = Tragedy + Time | Comments (0)

The Little Drummer, Oy

24 December 2008 | 11:21 PM

Lest you think that I’ve not gotten into the holiday spirit, I present you some yontif-themed video evidence of why we chosen people should’ve stopped at The Beastie Boys (or perhaps 3rd Bass):

Then again, when it comes to rapping Jews, I’ve always been more of a traditionalist.

Posted by Andy in Comedy = Tragedy + Time | Comments (0)

Far Out

22 December 2008 | 3:20 PM

Back when I was but a young whippersnapper (read, through my mid-twenties), I was a pretty regular reader of The Far Side, Gary Larson’s oddball, non sequitur anti-comic. It always seemed to me the perfect blend of subversive geekery and bald-faced silliness, a sort of hipper and less-groan-worthy version of my father’s endless collection of puns. To be honest, I hadn’t given the comic much thought for the better part of a decade, but thankfully a Flickr pool of Far Side reenactments has sprung up, giving us a sort of post-modern homage to vaguely funny nerdishness.