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Archives: September 2008
30 September 2008 | 10:56 PM
Don Rumsfeld, that illustrious Pentagon poet, once famously quipped:
“There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.”
I like to think that Rummy’s meandering, oratorical bullshit-parade is perhaps the most fitting way to introduce this bizarre series of vaguely-related near-non-sequitors, strung together into an oddly haunting little piece of video art.
Yeah. What she said.
[Via BoingBoing]
Posted by Andy in Ummm...? |
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30 September 2008 | 10:36 PM
OK. It’s official. I’m ready to get an iPhone.
Like, tomorrow. While this pseudo-copy is nice, it doesn’t really do it justice.
Posted by Andy in Nerdapalooza |
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27 September 2008 | 11:35 PM
Irrespective of your political stripes, my guess is the phrase “Sarah Palin in a swimsuit” probably gives you at least a second or two of pause. Let’s face it, while I hate her politics and don’t find her terribly attractive (which is compounded by the rage which wells up within me when I hear people say that she closely resembles Tina Fey), even a bed-wetting, tree-hugging, intern-schtupping liberal like me has to admit that she’s a lot easier on the eyes than Dick Cheney. Or Joe Biden, for that matter. The fact is Governor Palin is certainly the nation’s VPILF -the “F” in this case stands either for “Fuck” or “Forget”, depending on your party affiliation – and there’s no denying it.
However, upon seeing this found footage of her portion of the swimsuit competition in the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant, I have to admit I’m now underwhelmed about much more than merely her stance on charging victims for their rape kits or the fact that she wouldn’t know the “Bush Doctrine” if it took her out for a snowmobile ride, grilled her a slab of moose-meat and then gave her a fresh litter of children. I mean, I realize that this was 1984, and Alaska for god’s sake, and that the footage is grainy and all: even so, there was a well-established standard of swimsuit beauty for the era (see here and here) and, lemme tell you, the future Mrs.-Thanks-But-No-Thanks simply did not measure up to it. Perhaps that’s why she lost? Eh, I still think it was her question-answering skills.
In any case, this certainly moves her down the ladder quite a bit in my historically hot list of American politicians. Right now, I’ve pushed her back to 578th, just above Mary Todd Lincoln and just below Grover Cleveland.
Posted by Andy in Politcally Incoherent |
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26 September 2008 | 4:35 PM
The bizarre game of fiscal mumbletypeg being played on the American people these days is getting me down, so I’ve decided to blissfully ignore it and surf for some ridiculousness to take my mind off it all. Clicky clicky, people: time’s a’ wasting!
- Next time you’re bellying up to the counter at your favorite McDonald’s, you might want to think long and hard about ordering that hamburger. Yikes!
- What’s more jarring: this bizarre “PHALLUMEASURE” tool or the fact that there’s an angry screed about the metric system as a companion? Close call, really.
- Admittedly, I’m no grooming wizard, but even I can manage to trim my goatee without adaptive technological assistance.
- While this portrait of Paris Hilton composed of old adult magazines is probably meant to make some grand political statement, mostly it just makes me wonder what kind of pervy artist has that much porn laying around?
- I’m not sure quite why, but these are fascinating to watch. Probably because I’m not the one getting socked in the choppers. (My favorite is definitely Emily)
- Oh sure, this guy does it and he’s a thought-provoking artist. I do it and I’m a candidate for a restraining order. What gives?
- Best. Traffic stop. Ever.
- While I’ll never get tired of this old clip of Bill O’Reilly losing it, it’s significantly funnier when you imagine what his producer might be saying to him. Pure genius.
- Spending ten minutes on Ze’s site was worth it once again. Check out Siskel and Ebert’s tirade about The Man first, and then watch these three sweet songs to make yourself feel a bit better: one, two and three.
- Re-introduce yourself to Datastorm, Version 1.0.
Posted by Andy in Linksploitation |
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25 September 2008 | 11:07 AM
While I’ve always been a big fan of David Letterman, his esteem has grown in my eyes steadily for the past few years as he’s increasingly been more willing to express his exasperation with the conservative talking heads and politicos who appear on his show. I mean, who could forget his awesome dissection of Bill O’Reilly a few years ago, right? Anyway, last night Dave was due to have Senator John McCain as a guest, when McCain abruptly cancelled because he had “suspended” his campaign in an attempt to weasel he and his VEEP candidate out of the upcoming debates so he could rush back to Washington and save the economy. Letterman gave him the benefit of the doubt, but then began to grouse that Frau Palin wasn’t sent in as a replacement, seeing as how that’s kind of what a potential Vice President does: you know, fill in for the potential President when he/she is otherwise indisposed. Dave’s baseline irritability is humorous enough, but things escalate even further when, while chatting with fill-in guest Keith Olbermann (by the way, how’s that for a prescient replacement?), he glances up at the CBS live feed and sees McCain sitting down with Katie Couric at the CBS news anchor desk. Letterman found this a bit odd, since the Senator had personally telephoned him to say he was canceling his appearance on The Late Show because he was literally getting on a plane and flying to D.C. that very minute. Suffice it to say, awesomeness ensues:
Hell (or at least late night television) hath no fury like a Letterman scorned.
Posted by Andy in Politcally Incoherent |
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24 September 2008 | 11:38 AM
As someone who routinely spends 20% more than he makes, I am hardly in any position to be criticizing anyone about their financial choices, let alone The Man. So when The Decider’s minions announced late last week that they intend to buy back all of the bad debt from America’s largest lending houses and insurers, I mostly just shrugged and thought, “OK, well if those puppies collapse we’re going to be in even more dire straits, so lets just rip off the band-aid, get this over with and get back to blowing money on the things that really matter in life.”
But then I heard that the $700 billion price tag is a completely arbitrary figure, seeing as how the banks get to make up whatever value they want for the assets they’ve lost, and nobody actually knows what they’re worth. And then came the news that the FBI is investigating most of the likely buyout recipients for fraud. Add that to the ludicrous compensation packages many executives of these institutions are walking away with, and I’m starting to get a sick feeling about this. Sure, Chris Dodd’s got a plan that will force many of these lenders to negotiate with strapped homeowners so they can stay in their homes, but that seems like it’d be small solace given the bailout we’d be providing in return.
In any case, the bailout might very well still need to happen – I’m not in any position to argue with it. I will say, though, that what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander. To wit, let me direct your attention to BuyMyShitPile.com, a site which gently encourages Treasury Secretary Paulson to let the rest of us in on this fire sale while the cash is flowing like Cristal at a strip club when Pacman Jones is in the place.
Needless to say, I’ll be going through all of my unpacked boxes, looking for stuff I can use to pad my kids’ college funds. Make it rain, Hank: make it fucking rain.
Posted by Andy in Politcally Incoherent |
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22 September 2008 | 6:25 PM
While I’ll often profess to pretty much anyone who will listen that I’m really not into “modern” console gaming (aside from, say, Wii Tennis, at which I will soundly kick your ass any day of the week, suckers!), I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the classic 8-bit video games of my youth. So, yeah, I get a bit wistful when I see, for instance, a Flash version of Burger Time or a reasonable facsimile of Spy Hunter. But the fellas over at Robot Chicken have turned that trip down memory lane into something a bit more, um, painful. Witness what they’ve done to that ol’ stalwart, Excitebike:
Face it, this clip was totally worth it, if for no other reason than the introduction of the phrase “anus shattering” into the vernacular. Although, for the record, it still only ranks as the second funniest thing I’ve seen them do, behind this masterpiece, of course.
[Via Destructoid]
Posted by Andy in Ummm...? |
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21 September 2008 | 11:58 PM
It’s been said that today’s technological marvels and conveniences will inevitably lead to tomorrow’s moral decay and the blurring (or perhaps total eradication) of the social morays that are the bedrock of civilized society. Right, whatever the hell that means. I suppose it’s why math teachers rail bitterly against calculators, or why anyone who has to try to read my handwriting these days rues the day I was ever taught to touch type. In any case , when the RealDoll phenomenon was introduced a few years ago, I began to wonder when the first evidence of people taking their fake lovers a little too seriously (well, more seriously than being willing to creepily make the beast with two backs with them) would appear. Well, while hardly the first example, I did come across this delightful news item – which plays out like Lars and The Real Girl meets Miller’s Crossing. It seems to me that it’s the logical downside of introducing fake people into our real world with all our real problems.
I can see it now: “Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a RealDoll?“
Posted by Andy in Ummm...? |
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19 September 2008 | 10:46 PM
Words fail me:
Suddenly, I feel less animosity toward the more passive-aggressive route.
Yeesh.
Posted by Andy in Ummm...? |
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19 September 2008 | 2:31 PM
I used to take exception to people referring to my old site as a link dump. That was before I thought about how little effort it takes to maintain a link dump. Hence, here’s another link dump. (Heh heh, I said “dump”)
- No matter how many times I watch it, this clip never gets old. The best part is how hard the guitarist is selling it. Although, I have it on good authority that this is not nearly as good a representation of Christian Ska as this is. Whatever: he’d know.
- Would you knit it? I’d knit it. I’d totally knit that. Who wouldn’t knit that. Dude, you gotta knit that. Ha ha, I kill me.
- Ha ha, Rush, you suck. Good thing they didn’t try to play something hard like “YYZ”.
- Successories + faux Droste effect = Hilarity. (Just give it a few seconds: you’ll see)
- Zefrank, he is funny. You should watch him do radio. That’s right, I said “watch”.
- Reality television, distilled.
- OK, while the new Microsoft ads which attempt to poke fun at Apple’s “I’m A Mac” ads make more sense than that clusterfuck they cooked up with Seinfeld, I can’t say they make me any less likely to abhor Windows.
- How many of these actually belong to me? I’ll never tell….
- Do you think there’s any chance that these things come with side-boob? Just wondering.
Posted by Andy in Linksploitation |
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